After a request for a "mind dump" on the blog, I have been trying to comply! What follows is the last couple weeks in fragments.
Monday January 13
What do I say after yet another absence from this space? I must own to my inconsistency, my flakiness as a writer. Though it was not an official resolution, to write more is a resolution ever gathering strength. So many paragraphs formed in my head, only to disappear with the absence of a pen and paper to record them. Just yesterday, I was thinking about this entry and wrote (what seemed to be) a brilliant opening. What was it? No idea. It's off floating on the gusting winds.
The wedding is little more than a month away, and while I feel incredibly excited as it grows closer, I must confess, there are moments where all I think about is everything I have yet to do. Yet to confirm, yet to plan. And, at the the same time, I feel guilty at being stressed and not just joyful at the thought of our wedding day. Egad! Too many emotions.
Thursday January 16
A calm has settled the last couple days; will this calm slowly replace the buzzing anxiety that has come to stay the last couple months? I sure hope so. This morning I sit as the darkness begins to lift, the sky beginning to blue over the black treetops.
I need to leave for work in little over an hour, and in between I will mostly sit at my computer and then kick it into high gear when I have just enough time to get ready and leave for work on time. It is a new habit I have developed, not one that I particularly like - but these days, I am trying not to berate myself for small things.
With one month less a day until the wedding, though there is still much to do, but excitement is winning. Excitement for THE DAY and all that entails, excitement to see friends and family from far away and eagerness to celebrate together. A break from the planning, a break to Costa Rica and then the beginning, officially, of a new life together.
Letterpress by the INCREDIBLE Jessica Hische, you can purchase her work here.
Monday January 20
Today I am feeling thankful.
Thankful for generous family and friends. Rebecca and the Moms (my Mom, Tim's Mom, should I just say my Moms? Newness...) threw a bridal shower for me yesterday and I am so thankful for the time people carved out of their busy lives to come, as well as the gifts and the advice I received. I feel spoiled.
My parents also came up for the weekend; while I was at work on Saturday, my Mom organized our new place (which was very disorganized post-move, it now looks and feels great) and Tim, my Dad and Grandpa Ikert built an unreal table! It will serve as one of the head tables, but more importantly it will be a table to gather around - for people to sit and be fed, for people to play board games and laugh, a place for toasts to be raised and fondues to sizzle.
In an email the other day, someone wrote: the countdown is on. It sure is. 26 days.
